Metaphysical Graffiti Lyrics

Beige Sunshine
Cheese is the one thing that's
Indestructable
How much of your Blue Cross
Is deductable?
Open your eyes to a wicked
Surprise
You'll lose your mind if you
Just step inside
They say even Bambi was
Corruptible
The flu's coming, yes are you
Susceptible?
If only traces of lead were
Detectable
Open your brain to a new kind of pain
Just step inside and we'll all
Go insane
Please put your thoughts
Inside a receptacle
You are not one of us
Your pipes are leaking
You are an ocelot
What are you seeking? Baboons
They say say are quite interesting
Ships without rudders aren't wort commanding
Open your skull to a world that is dull
You'll find it all when you shop at the mall
People like you are not worth reprimanding

I think you need some help
I think you're way off course
Maybe you need a little breather
You should get down off your horse
Look up into the sky
Try to catch your racing thoughts
Before they burn up in the sun
Take a walk
Sit in your walking chair and breathe...

Welcome to your head
Tripping on Wonder Bread
Peer into the edge of time
See the endless light
Realize there is no time
There is only light
Feel the heat of the moment
Feel the heat of the now
Feel the heat of the beige sunshine
In the back of your mind, and breathe...


Do the Brown Nose
If you want that job
What ya gonna do?
(Gonna brown nose, gonna brown nose)
Here comes your rich uncle Bob
What ya gonna do?
(Gonna brown nose, gonna brown nose)
If you get stopped by the man
What ya gonna do?
(Gonna brown nose, gonna brown nose)
Record company wants to sign your band
What ya gonna do?
(Gonna brown nose, gonna brown nose)

CHORUS
Bend your knees
Move your head like this
Pucker them lips
Give dat butt a kiss

Askin' for some green
Now whatcha gonna do?
(Gonna brown nose, gonna brown nose)
Boss is really mean
Now whatcha gonna do?
(Gonna brown nose, gonna brown nose)
Wanna impress yo girlfriend's father
Now whatcha gonna do?
(Gonna brown nose, gonna brown nose)
Owe some money to yo brother
Now whatcha gonna do?
(Gonna brown nose, gonna brown nose)

CHORUS


Methodist Coloring Book
You've got a Methodist coloring book
And you color really well
But don't color outside the lines
Or God will send you to hell
'Cause God hates war
And God hates crime
But He really hates people
Who color outside the lines

You've got a Methodist coloring book
Don't color outside the lines
'Cause if God doesn't strike you with lightning
He'll at least make you go blind

Good people get sent to the attic
Bad people will roast in the cellar
But there's a special kind of hell
For those who just won't learn to color

God is gracious, God is good
Let us color in his book
God wears cotton, God wears rayon
He can mend a broken crayon
God is honest, He don't take payola
Let's all thank him for our Crayolas
You've got a Methodist coloring book...


Part 3
I saw you naked and you were chasing a pig
So I led the police to your house and showed 'em where to dig
You thought you could live in peace
But I saw you naked and I called the police
I saw you naked and I saw the terrible things you did

I saw you naked and you know it made me sick,
I saw you naked you were camping with scouts
I know they earned some merit badges when the lights went out
How could you touch those children?
I saw you naked and you were holding a trout!


I Tripped Over the Ottoman
They calal me Robert Petry and I live in New Rochelle
With my wife Laura and son Richie but now
My life's a living hell cause

CHORUS
I tripped over the ottoman
One too many times
I tripped over the ottoman
Until I lost my MIIIIIIIIIIND

I was head writer for Alan Brady
Maybe you've seen his show
It's now funny and it makes my ears bleed
This week's guest star isn't Danny Thomas
Our special guest star is Death!

Once I laughed at Buddy's jokes but
Now my life's a living hell, 'cause...

CHORUS

Marey Amsterdam can make a sane man crazy
Morey Amsterdam can make a nice guy kill
Morey Amsterdam can make a sane man crazy
Morey Amsterdam can make a nice guy kill

What did you bring me Daddy?
What did you bring me Daddy?
What did you bring me Daddy?
WELL, I BROUGHT YOU DEATH!


The Big Sleazy
It's a long way to Anchorage
But that's where I7ll go with you
We'll travel so far, dear
To escape that morning zoo
I hate MMR I hate YSP
I do not like the Grateful Dead
So just don't talk to me
I hate MMR I hate YSP
You know that classic rock
Does not interest me
People are getting angry
Maybe just they should
Cause some of us can still remember
Back when XPN was good

Peeling's woo woo woo peelings
I hate what they done to XPN
Those folk Nazis ruined my favorite station
I hate what they done to XPN
If you hear it now it's just a pale immitation

Well it's brunch with the Beatles
A tribute to Billy Joel
Four hours of Doobie Brothers
And they call that rock and roll


If You Love Somebody, Set Them on Fire
You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I were to say to you
I didn't set your house on fire
But it's just the way I am
You'll have to take it for a fact
Life can really burn you up
When you're a pyromaniac

CHORUS
If you love somebody
Better set them on fire

I went to your house last night
Your dad called me the human torch
Got a little pissed at him
so I burned down your front porch
Now I feel a little bad
About pouring gas on your dad
But you know it's hard to quit
And besides he started it

CHORUS

I just bought a brand new lighter
And I cannot wait to use it
Oily rags are special things
You know to me they're diamond rings
Maybe we can have some fun
Maybe we can burn someone

CHORUS


Dollar Signs in Her Eyes
She's been tripping over the flowers in her garden
The weeds are growing high
She dropped her laundry off at school
And hung her children on the clothesline to dry
She's throwing trash in her simming pool
She's pouring chlorine on her lawn
You might think she needs a pair of glasses
But, no, my friend you're wrong

She cannot see the beauty in a tree
Or in the life that it supplies
This should not strike you as a mystery
For she has dollar signs in her eyes

She's crashing her car in an intersection
She did not see the light
She's walking round and round in a shopping mall
As if she had no sight
Dreams are only clouds
That form and dissipate
The sky is a highway for metal birds
And land is real estate

She does not understand her world depends
Upon a history of lies
She walks right by all her old high school friends
For she has dollar signs in her eyes


In Praise of Sha Na Na
Sha Na Na were the kings of Woodstock
You know it's true deep in your heart
Greasy guys in gold lamae
If only Hendrix had been so smart
Pete Townshend wouldn't be so deaf
If he had followed Sha Na Na's advice
and played some fifties do-wop songs
That even your mom would think are nice

Keith and Janis went away
But Sha Na Na are here to stay
I don't care about Joan Baez
But Sha Na Na can wear my fez

Sha Na Na were the kings of the sixties
Deep in your heart you know it's true
All those lids are Berkley dressed like Bowser
They didn't like the Stones or the Who
Sha Na Na didn't need no flower power
They didn't drive a yellow submarine
But they were the ones who called the shots
Yeah, Sha Na na really made the scene

Sha Na Na..killed Kennedy
Sha Na Na..stabbed that guy at Altamont
Sha Na Na..started the Peace Corps
Sha Na Na..were the first astronauts
Sha Na Na..grew organic food
Sha Na Na..led student sit-ins
Sha Na Na..joined the Black Panthers
Sha Na Na..never seemed to fit in

You can move to Montana and listen to Santana
But you still won't be as cool as Sha Na Na


Epic Tales of Adventure
There's an old lady who washes her clothes
In the same laundromat as me
She told me of her son
And some shoes that hurt his feet
Mean little nails rose up in a bunch
And plunged into his soles
Filling his dirty socks with tiny bloody holes.

There's an old man who says that he came
>From the same town as my dad
He told me of his house and why it smelled so bad
Small furry creatures had crawled in the spaces
In between the walls
They died and they decayed
And I guess that's really all

Dead little creatures mean the end of the world

There was a man who told me a story about a conspiracy
He told me how it started
And what it meant to me
Doctors and lawyers and bankers and priests are
Controlled by UFO's

It's doctors and lawyers and the end of the world
Small furry creatures mean the end of the world
It's creatures and shoes and the end of the world

There's an old lady who washes her clothes
In the same laundromat as me
She told me of her son and some shoes


I Hate You, I Love You
What am I gonna do
When I get next to you
Wanna hold you close to me
But you bring me misery

CHORUS
I hate you, but I love you

Let's go to see a show
Where to well I don't know
Will you make up your mind
Or are you gonna waste my time

CHORUS

Look back to the days we met
Were times better I forget
You acted different then
I thought you were a friend

CHORUS


Now Everybody's Me
Everybody hates Edie Brickell
All my favorite shows are on TV
All the restaurants serve my favorite food
'Cause now everybody's me

Now my apartment's really crowded
'Cause I live there and I'm everybody
Everybody's sleeping with my girl
But, hey, everybody's me

CHORUS
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me

Everybody's watching "Married with Children"
Everybody's into beastiality
The stores stopped selling Amstel Light
'Cause now everybody's me

Everybody loves Charles Manson
Everybody wants to set him free
Everybody's on the parole board
'Cause now everybody's me

CHORUS

I had to put an end to war
It didn't make a lot of sense to shoot at myself
No moe Christians, Jews, Muslims or Amway
Salesmen
Just a whole planet of TV addicts
They had to lower all the basketball nets
'Cause everybody's only 5 foot 3
And everybody likes to dress like a monkey
'Cause now everybody's me


Little Man in My Head
There's a little man in my head
And he's drunk all of the time
He sits there on a bench
Holding a monkey wrench
Sometimes he beats it up against my mind

There's a little man in my head
I don't think he likes it there
I do bad things but it's his fault
And he knows he can't get caught
That little man he just don't play fair

There's a little man in my head
And he must have lived in someone else's head before
'Cause I was born in '63
And he's only been there since '74

There's a little man in my head
And I don't think he understands me
We've got no common ground
On which to work around
He gets so bored when I watch TV

There's a little man in my head
And I don't think that he'll ever die
When he takes crontrol he really takes his toll
It's enough to make a grown man cry

There's a little man in my head
And I wish he'd find another home
There's a little man in my head
And now I'll never be alone


Anderson, Walkman, Buttholes and How!
We've got to get together
And we've got to save the snails
Let's board the purple spaceships
Before they set sail
I want a Yes reunion
And you know I want one now
No more
Listening to the opera
And smoking angels' dust
You can't get more fucking
Progressive than us...